Would you rather be smart or nice?

Nov 29 We all know someone who inspires us to be better. Share that person.

Years ago during a "Would you rather..." activity, I was asked if I'd rather be known as nice or smart. 

Hands down, my answer was smart. In fact I remember thinking it was a lame question. Why would anyone choose "nice" over "smart"? 

But my partner in the activity said NICE. I was stunned. I remember the moment distinctly--the room I was in, my position at the table--because it challenged my world view. Maybe "smart" wasn't the end-all-be-all I'd been raised to think it was. Just maybe being right was not the (only) gold ring. 

This memory came back to me as I read tonight's prompt. The people I am most inspired by these days are those who are nice. I think of Bev, a co-worker who retired last year. Bev was consistently kind in her comments about students and faculty. We taught at opposite ends of the building in vastly different content areas, yet she inspired me to be a better person, to rein in my cynicism, keep my snark in check.  

My daughter has a bumper sticker on her car proclaiming that well-behaved women rarely make history. I appreciate the message. I don't like to see women trapped by niceness, afraid to speak their minds or formulate opinions. But when I stack up my own regrettable moments, a theme emerges: Why did I choose to be unkind? For a moment of proving myself right? For winning a laugh? For a flash of superiority? Sheesh. Grow up already. 

Wait. That paragraph makes it sound like I'm a mean person. I don't think I'm mean. I'm just not as consistently kind as I want to be. I'd like for people to think of me as nice. (And smart.)