Day #205 Writing Through COVID-19: To-Do or Can-Do?

Last night I wrote about sinking. 

My to-do list is still longer than my can-do list, but for the most part, I kept myself afloat today. Let's call it the elementary backstroke: I wasn't moving fast, and I didn't make much forward progress, but I also didn't go under.
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I have to admit this morning was rough.

Last night Dan wanted me to help him with the data transfer from his combine to JDLink, the program that analyzes basically every square foot of every field. 

Dan learned to type (read about it here) in 2001. Thus began his struggle to join the digital world. 

He now has a smartphone and an iPad. He can participate in our family's WhatsApp group text (although he doesn't get most of the jokes). He checks markets and online auctions. He enters data on Excel. But none of this comes naturally to him. He wants physical gears and wrenches and o-rings and calipers; the computer is ethereal.
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Meanwhile, as a teacher, I'm neck-deep in education-related technology. But I'm not the tech genius Dan wants me to be. Furthermore, I only work on a Mac. Dan's tech issues are on the PC side of things.

So last night, when Dan wanted my help with the JDLink that had only uploaded data from two of the harvested bean fields, I was at a loss. I don't understand the program (or frankly, even what he's trying to do).

When I woke up this morning I had a plan: I'd take a personal day and teach myself how to understand JDLink. I would watch the videos and read the explanations, and Just. Learn. It.

I submitted a leave request and prepared sub plans. If learning JDLink didn't take all day, I hoped to get a run in, maybe answer some emails. 
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"I put the bank deposit book in your car." The first words Dan said to me this morning. 

I told him I was taking a personal day to learn JDLink and catch my breath.

This did not go over well. Dan thought my plan was inefficient. If I was going to learn the ag-equipment-computer side of things, I would need his help, and his day was already planned and full.
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Dear reader, I am slogging in the details. Basically, this was one of those run-of-the-mill I-see-black-and-you-see-white conversations long-married folks have all the time. 

Ultimately I canceled my personal day and went to school.

There I had a good day: positivity, energy, learning.
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I feel like living in COVID is like moving through the days under a weighted blanket. Everyday things, non-COVID-related things (like transferring data via JDLink), demand energy reserves that are already depleated. 

Our tempers are shorter. 
Our faces are mask-chapped.
We're tired of the vigilance it takes to move about in public spaces.
We haven't enjoyed a night in a restaurant together for six months.

I might be angry.

Enough.
Be well.
Write. 

Allison

Look at this beautiful kiwi!