200 Days of Writing Through COVID-19: Swamped

Today is #200.

Nothing in my teacher training prepared me for the Zooming, the wifi issues, the mic missteps, and the time-suck I'm experiencing as I teach face-to-face learners and online students simultaneously. 

If I were teaching only online, I would plan lessons utilizing Zoom's breakout rooms and shared Google Docs. 

Teaching face-to-face, I would reclaim minutes lost to adjusting computer camera angles, apologizing for delivering entire lessons on mute, and toggling between muted virtual learners ("Please unmute!) and real (albeit distanced) learners in front of me ("Speak up so our virtual learners can hear you!) 

I end too many classes thinking "I need to do better." This really does feel like first-year teaching all over again.

Each day I narrow my focus to the here and now: I can't teach in the past; I can't teach in the future; all I have is this moment, and at this moment I will do what I can.
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In some ways, COVID has made me a more balanced teacher. 

Pre-pandemic, I saw Job #1 as teaching young people to become voracious readers; confident, clear writers; and thoughtful, aware contributors to group discussions. Job #2 was to keep students engaged enough to prevent classroom chaos. (This was the "babysitting" part of my job.)

But what I've witnessed in the push for schools to reopen while the pandemic is still stretching its jaws tells me that our country values my Job #2 over my Job #1. Yes, it's nice if the kids learn something, but more importantly, keep kids occupied so we can get about our business.
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My dad now has the camera and mic working on his desktop computer. This allows us to Zoom again. This afternoon we played two hands of Bridge on FunBridge. In order to start, I needed my dad to plug in a sequence of numbers to the Zoom login. 

When I gave him three digits, he could do it. When I gave him four at once, he needed me to repeat it. 
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My dad loves to read and wishes he could write, but frankly, he's a numbers guy. He remembered phone numbers like a savant: If he knew the name, he also knew the phone number. 

When my kids had math questions in high school, we called Grandpa. (I credit him with three of my children pursuing math majors in college.)

This is why today's Zooming with him was so hard.
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I am the daughter, not the doctor.

My dad's mental slippage is not something the doctor--let alone the daughter--can control.

But I can feel it. And I can record it here.

Enough.
Be well.
Write.

Allison 

Wolf is showing off his new nappie,
his hefty thighs, and his big feet! 

William Wolf Hoegh with his amazing mama.