I was again reminded of my second-grade report card--a memory I mentioned in a blog post last winter. The gym teacher had written a word that I couldn’t quite make out. I thought maybe it said I was “busy”--and I hoped that meant I was especially active. I liked P.E!
My mother translated the teacher’s handwriting and told me the word was “bossy.”
I remember the mortification I felt when I realized my mistake. But last week Missy, a colleague I adore, posted a photo of her fifth-grade report card with the teacher’s comment “disruptive influence in the classroom.” Her post cast my own report-card memory in a harsher light.
Who were these teachers who saw Missy and me--bold little girls--as threats to the order and authority of their classrooms? And are such comments from a bygone era, or are we still demeaning females for behaviors tolerated or even praised in males?
Missy and I have grown up to be productive, leaderful women. But the same traits that serve us well as intrepid spokespeople for quality teaching and justice for all as adults were not seen as positive characteristics in the elementary classroom.
And that got me thinking about the word “bossy,” which I don’t think I’ve ever heard used to describe boys. Women are bossy; men are the boss.
When I dashed the word into my search bar, Google gave me this ever-so-helpful usage example:
"she was bossy, scared of nobody, and full of vinegar"
Note the feminine pronoun in the example.
A subsequent definition for Bossy: a common name for a cow. I’m pretty sure I’ve never heard of a bull named Bossy.
Bossy is a word that underscores the subtle ways language influences our thinking and our thinking influences our language choices. I am choosing to notice my own use of this word and others that make women and girls doubt their value as leaders.
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